Another day, still no dead mouse. At least I haven’t seen it in two days. I am hopeful it moved on.

We arrive at the rail yard at 8am today and we practice being passengers in the dining room. We get to order and eat breakfast.

I have Celiac. Though I was diagnosed over 20 years ago, it has recently become a problem for me to navigate successfully. It is not taken seriously in many respects. Being mistaken as an allergy.

Celiac Disease is NOT an allergy. It is a serious autoimmune disease. I don’t just get bloated or have diarrhea if I ingest gluten. My joints get achy. My stomach hurts. Sometimes my esophagus feels swollen, and I get a headache. This can last a couple days. Depending on the amount ingested.

When my meal comes out, I eye the potatoes and I’m a bit skeptical that they’re gluten free. They appear to have a coating on them. I ask the server if the potatoes are gluten free. The server leaves and asks the kitchen staff this question. When the server returns, I feel confident that they actually checked and that the potatoes are indeed gluten free.

After eating about three bites, I’m convinced that they’re coated. I can often taste the flour and/or recognize the texture.

A few minutes later, the server is back and asks if I’ve eaten any of the potatoes because she has found out they indeed are NOT gluten free.

This is where I need to be better about advocating for myself. Partly because I didn’t want the server to feel bad and also because I was starting to feel ill and I didn’t have it in me to drive the point home that it needs to be taken seriously. I simply say that it’s ok. I only ate a few bites.

Except I’m pissed. And it isn’t ok. I spent a lot of last summer fighting this Celiac issue on the train and at employee housing. I tried to educate the staff that it’s not an allergy.

Even today before this happened I was talking with one of the cooks about Celiac.

When I mention to my manager that I had gluten even after inquiring, I’m told, “At least it happened on a practice run and not when we are up in Denali”. As if that somehow helps.

Now I don’t feel comfortable eating anything on the train. I definitely have to speak to a different manager and try once again to drive home the severity of Celiac disease.

If I had been a passenger, I would’ve been compensated for this error. But as an employee I’m dismissed.

As I lay here in my bed tonight, I’m planning what to say and whom I’m speaking to. This can’t happen again. Especially not to a passenger. I should say especially not to ME.

Because I matter. And it shouldn’t be dismissed as if I don’t matter.

It ruined the rest of my day and evening.

I’m reminded too that I have to advocate for myself and be more careful. I can’t depend on other people to thoroughly check for me.

Perhaps I needed that reminder.

Here’s to a restful night, a better day tomorrow and never seeing another mouse in the apartment.